1 00:00:03,144 --> 00:00:04,378 Did you see it? 2 00:00:04,412 --> 00:00:05,114 Does she know? 3 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,288 This is the last thing she needs today. 4 00:00:08,322 --> 00:00:09,790 No! 5 00:00:09,824 --> 00:00:10,959 Busy day at the Dunphy compound. 6 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,656 We have a wedding tonight, and this afternoon, 7 00:00:12,657 --> 00:00:15,308 Claire is debating Duane Bailey in the race for town council. 8 00:00:15,553 --> 00:00:18,316 And now the "weekly saver" says 9 00:00:18,317 --> 00:00:20,562 that some voters find Claire-- quote-- 10 00:00:20,664 --> 00:00:22,832 "angry and unlikable." 11 00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:26,784 To those voters, I say, "wait till she sees this." 12 00:00:26,785 --> 00:00:29,203 No one can mention it to her. 13 00:00:29,510 --> 00:00:31,451 We can't have some unscientific poll 14 00:00:31,452 --> 00:00:33,098 shaking Claire's confidence. 15 00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:33,981 Phil... 16 00:00:34,490 --> 00:00:36,595 - What poll? -Too late. She knows. 17 00:00:36,893 --> 00:00:37,961 Who told her? 18 00:00:38,128 --> 00:00:39,271 What is this, a witch hunt? 19 00:00:39,563 --> 00:00:40,580 Oh, my God. 20 00:00:41,798 --> 00:00:42,646 I have to go. 21 00:00:43,567 --> 00:00:45,485 Well, I just don't think it's a big deal. 22 00:00:45,486 --> 00:00:47,410 I mean, how many people read the "weekly..." 23 00:00:47,411 --> 00:00:49,443 - "Saver"? - "Saver," anyway? 24 00:00:49,444 --> 00:00:51,722 22,000... ish. 25 00:00:52,647 --> 00:00:54,148 My company adver-- 26 00:00:54,182 --> 00:00:57,128 used to advertise with that newspaper. 27 00:00:57,394 --> 00:00:59,613 And how am I angry and unlikable? 28 00:00:59,614 --> 00:01:00,679 Can I take this one? 29 00:01:00,681 --> 00:01:01,541 I wouldn't. 30 00:01:01,682 --> 00:01:02,815 You seem angry now. 31 00:01:02,850 --> 00:01:04,450 I am angry, at that poll. 32 00:01:04,485 --> 00:01:06,850 I think it's the yelling. I would tone down the yelling. 33 00:01:06,851 --> 00:01:08,890 Honey, I don't yell for no reason. 34 00:01:08,891 --> 00:01:11,390 You yelled at my teacher for calling me "special." 35 00:01:11,425 --> 00:01:13,425 Honey, that was not a compliment. 36 00:01:13,460 --> 00:01:16,529 - Sweetheart, you're not unlikable. - Thank you. 37 00:01:16,564 --> 00:01:18,091 - You just seem unlikable. - Ohh. 38 00:01:18,092 --> 00:01:20,109 But if we work on it, it's totally fixable. 39 00:01:20,110 --> 00:01:22,402 How? How, Phil? How are we gonna "work on it"? 40 00:01:22,436 --> 00:01:24,811 - First of all, lose the snippy attitude. - Mm-hmm. 41 00:01:24,812 --> 00:01:26,592 And I don't know-- maybe we could have a mock debate. 42 00:01:26,593 --> 00:01:27,589 Oh. Good idea. 43 00:01:27,590 --> 00:01:29,541 That way, mom can rehearse her views on the issues. 44 00:01:29,576 --> 00:01:30,704 Yeah, and we can point out all the little things 45 00:01:30,705 --> 00:01:32,369 she does that turn people off. 46 00:01:32,939 --> 00:01:35,007 Like that look. I would lose that look. 47 00:01:38,051 --> 00:01:39,823 Spooky, but better. 48 00:01:48,989 --> 00:01:51,989 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg visit tvshowslatest.blogspot.com to download all episodes of Modern Family 49 00:01:52,566 --> 00:01:54,431 All right. Thank you very much. 50 00:01:54,774 --> 00:01:57,163 Hey, Lily! Come here, honey! 51 00:01:57,412 --> 00:01:59,914 Hi! Do you know what this is? 52 00:01:59,915 --> 00:02:00,904 A box. 53 00:02:00,905 --> 00:02:03,173 - Containing? - She doesn't know "containing." 54 00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:04,207 Well, that's how she learns new words, 55 00:02:04,242 --> 00:02:05,375 by us using them. 56 00:02:05,409 --> 00:02:06,979 Or, that's how we lower her self-esteem, 57 00:02:06,980 --> 00:02:09,347 by bombarding her with confusing vocabulary. 58 00:02:09,348 --> 00:02:11,416 What's the box containing? 59 00:02:11,417 --> 00:02:12,326 Told you. 60 00:02:12,385 --> 00:02:13,785 Okay. It's your dress. 61 00:02:13,787 --> 00:02:15,153 It's finally here! 62 00:02:15,188 --> 00:02:16,354 Aah! 63 00:02:16,388 --> 00:02:17,924 It's every little girl's dream 64 00:02:17,925 --> 00:02:19,686 to be a flower girl in a wedding. 65 00:02:19,825 --> 00:02:21,262 It's Lily's chance to shine. 66 00:02:21,263 --> 00:02:22,843 I was a 3-time ring bearer. 67 00:02:23,575 --> 00:02:25,622 It's Lily's chance to shine. 68 00:02:27,666 --> 00:02:29,206 Oh! 69 00:02:29,207 --> 00:02:30,322 Pretty! 70 00:02:30,323 --> 00:02:31,520 Oh, no, Cam-- 71 00:02:31,521 --> 00:02:33,681 Cam, she's gonna look like little bo peep. 72 00:02:33,682 --> 00:02:35,338 Or little bo cheap. 73 00:02:35,339 --> 00:02:37,420 Look at this fabric. It's already pilling. 74 00:02:37,421 --> 00:02:38,808 You mean "turned on?" 75 00:02:38,809 --> 00:02:40,855 You mean turned on? 76 00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:43,791 No, it does not--Cam! Oh! 77 00:02:43,825 --> 00:02:44,483 I love it! 78 00:02:44,484 --> 00:02:45,750 No, you don't. 79 00:02:45,784 --> 00:02:47,836 Oh, my gosh. Are we really gonna let her wear this? 80 00:02:47,837 --> 00:02:50,005 You know what? If the bride wants to have a tacky wedding, 81 00:02:50,006 --> 00:02:51,212 she can have a tacky wedding. 82 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:52,797 - Lily will be the bright spot. - Literally. 83 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:54,299 Heard it as soon as I said it. 84 00:02:55,488 --> 00:02:57,215 Stella! 85 00:02:58,506 --> 00:03:00,484 Where's my good girl? 86 00:03:02,525 --> 00:03:03,954 Gloria, is Stella up there? 87 00:03:04,099 --> 00:03:06,732 No. But I am. 88 00:03:06,733 --> 00:03:09,435 Why don't you say "hello" to your wife when you come home? 89 00:03:09,436 --> 00:03:11,972 Well, why don't you greet me at the door, wagging your tail? 90 00:03:12,006 --> 00:03:14,318 Stella, honey! Where are you? 91 00:03:15,058 --> 00:03:16,243 Stella! 92 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:18,744 My baby! 93 00:03:19,627 --> 00:03:22,342 Stella, I'm coming! I'm coming! 94 00:03:27,517 --> 00:03:29,788 You okay? You okay? 95 00:03:30,369 --> 00:03:32,320 Why are you swimming in your clothes? 96 00:03:32,321 --> 00:03:34,376 Because I'm self-conscious about my body. 97 00:03:34,514 --> 00:03:35,780 Stella fell in the pool. 98 00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,449 It's my fault. I let her out, 99 00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,867 and then I got caught up in my couponing. 100 00:03:40,019 --> 00:03:41,653 Any coupons for swim lessons? 101 00:03:41,687 --> 00:03:43,254 'Cause Stella needs some. 102 00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:45,190 Seriously? Manny you teach to swim 103 00:03:45,224 --> 00:03:46,290 by throwing him in the pool, 104 00:03:46,325 --> 00:03:48,960 but the dog gets swimming lessons? 105 00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,429 I gotta say, it was unpleasant but effective. 106 00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:52,931 We have to teach Stella how to swim. 107 00:03:52,965 --> 00:03:54,099 Otherwise, she could drown. 108 00:03:54,133 --> 00:03:56,301 Why don't you teach her not to jump in the pool? 109 00:03:56,335 --> 00:03:58,229 She didn't jump in the pool. She fell in the pool. 110 00:03:58,467 --> 00:04:00,253 Why, suddenly, would she jump in the pool 111 00:04:00,254 --> 00:04:01,378 when she doesn't know how to swim? 112 00:04:01,379 --> 00:04:03,434 Why does she bark at the vacuum? 113 00:04:03,435 --> 00:04:06,382 It's a thing. It is never going to play with you. 114 00:04:06,572 --> 00:04:08,526 Are you saying that Stella is stupid? 115 00:04:08,741 --> 00:04:10,208 Are you covering her ears? 116 00:04:10,242 --> 00:04:11,709 Let's have a little compassion. 117 00:04:11,744 --> 00:04:14,939 She's probably still traumatized from her near-death experience. 118 00:04:15,494 --> 00:04:17,048 Again? What's happening?! 119 00:04:17,450 --> 00:04:19,517 Ay, no! 120 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,853 Welcome, candidates. Mrs. Dunphy... 121 00:04:21,855 --> 00:04:23,220 Thank you for having me. 122 00:04:23,255 --> 00:04:24,189 And councilman Bailey. 123 00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:25,456 Gosh, thank you so much, Alex. 124 00:04:25,491 --> 00:04:26,901 I'm deeply honored to be here, 125 00:04:26,902 --> 00:04:29,457 and I remain, as ever, a humble servant 126 00:04:29,458 --> 00:04:31,188 to the greatest little town 127 00:04:31,189 --> 00:04:32,757 in the greatest darn-- 128 00:04:32,791 --> 00:04:34,265 eye-rolling. 129 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:35,690 Playful eye rolling. 130 00:04:35,916 --> 00:04:38,003 How do we, as voters, know it's playful? 131 00:04:38,004 --> 00:04:39,046 I would avoid it. 132 00:04:39,047 --> 00:04:40,725 Okay. No eye rolling. 133 00:04:41,723 --> 00:04:42,924 And don't purse your lips like that. 134 00:04:42,958 --> 00:04:44,259 - It makes you look annoyed. - Mm-hmm. 135 00:04:45,998 --> 00:04:46,927 And don't touch your face. 136 00:04:46,928 --> 00:04:48,997 Yeah, no face touching. Seems nervous. 137 00:04:48,998 --> 00:04:50,977 Some of this is subjective. 138 00:04:52,267 --> 00:04:53,468 - What? What now? - Anger. 139 00:04:53,670 --> 00:04:55,269 It looks like you're scolding us. 140 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:57,371 I will keep my hands at my sides. 141 00:04:57,406 --> 00:04:58,740 Not on your hips. You're not superman. 142 00:04:59,775 --> 00:05:00,675 Can we get started? 143 00:05:00,709 --> 00:05:01,809 We haven't started? 144 00:05:01,844 --> 00:05:03,177 I've prepared some questions. 145 00:05:03,212 --> 00:05:04,546 Oh, goody! Actual questions. 146 00:05:04,580 --> 00:05:05,546 Honk. Sarcasm. 147 00:05:05,548 --> 00:05:07,215 Just go. 148 00:05:07,249 --> 00:05:08,449 Okay, Mrs. Dunphy, 149 00:05:08,484 --> 00:05:11,019 why are you running for local office? 150 00:05:11,053 --> 00:05:12,420 Okay, that's, um, that's good. 151 00:05:12,455 --> 00:05:15,089 I... um, I-- 152 00:05:15,124 --> 00:05:16,391 Mom, you really shouldn't stutter 153 00:05:16,393 --> 00:05:17,792 over a basic question like that. 154 00:05:17,826 --> 00:05:19,923 You should at least know why you're running. 155 00:05:19,924 --> 00:05:22,072 I thought the moderator was supposed to be objective. 156 00:05:22,073 --> 00:05:23,339 Not if she's the only one in the room 157 00:05:23,341 --> 00:05:25,255 who has actual debate experience. 158 00:05:25,256 --> 00:05:26,738 Now why are you running? 159 00:05:27,171 --> 00:05:29,026 I saw the need for a stop sign in-- 160 00:05:29,060 --> 00:05:29,769 Liar! 161 00:05:29,770 --> 00:05:30,549 Phil! 162 00:05:30,614 --> 00:05:32,997 I-I just think you should be ready for anything. 163 00:05:34,010 --> 00:05:35,277 I saw the need for a s-- 164 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:36,245 What? 165 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:38,214 Sorry. Accidental buzz. 166 00:05:38,248 --> 00:05:39,948 I saw the need for a stop sign in my neighborhood, 167 00:05:39,950 --> 00:05:41,803 and although I collected the necessary signatures 168 00:05:41,804 --> 00:05:44,120 and did the paperwork, I found local government 169 00:05:44,154 --> 00:05:45,419 to be entirely unhelpful-- 170 00:05:45,822 --> 00:05:47,623 - when-- what? - Too long. I'm bored. 171 00:05:47,657 --> 00:05:50,114 Yeah, next question. I feel like I'm in school. 172 00:05:51,327 --> 00:05:53,507 Some say the political system is bogged down 173 00:05:53,508 --> 00:05:55,382 by ideological hard-liners 174 00:05:55,383 --> 00:05:57,188 - unwilling to compromise. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 175 00:05:57,189 --> 00:06:00,040 How would you respond to that, councilman Bailey? 176 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,397 I would like to use my lifeline. 177 00:06:04,312 --> 00:06:05,449 I'll take this. 178 00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:08,256 If elected, I would consider all perspectives, 179 00:06:08,257 --> 00:06:11,647 and I would not ignore opposing viewpoints. 180 00:06:12,317 --> 00:06:13,818 Helicopter. Just keep going. 181 00:06:13,852 --> 00:06:15,853 I would consider all perspectives, 182 00:06:15,855 --> 00:06:17,657 - and I wouldn't ignore opposing-- - You suck! 183 00:06:17,658 --> 00:06:18,409 Luke! 184 00:06:18,410 --> 00:06:19,790 You have to be ready for hecklers. 185 00:06:19,824 --> 00:06:21,325 He's right. 186 00:06:21,359 --> 00:06:23,543 Okay. I'm doing over. No buzzing. 187 00:06:23,771 --> 00:06:25,170 If elected, I-- 188 00:06:26,221 --> 00:06:27,889 - What? - Too close to the mic. 189 00:06:27,924 --> 00:06:29,490 Phil, it's a hairbrush. 190 00:06:29,492 --> 00:06:30,659 Okay. 191 00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:35,630 If elected, I would consider all opinions 192 00:06:35,665 --> 00:06:37,732 and not ignore those of the opposition, 193 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,401 as councilman Bailey has done for six terms. 194 00:06:41,504 --> 00:06:43,171 What? That was a great answer. 195 00:06:43,205 --> 00:06:44,372 Well, I couldn't hear it 196 00:06:44,406 --> 00:06:47,211 because you were showing me the bad side of your face. 197 00:06:47,212 --> 00:06:48,521 I have a bad side? 198 00:06:48,522 --> 00:06:50,224 - Yeah, the left. - No. It's the right. 199 00:06:50,312 --> 00:06:52,313 Uh, dad, it's totally the left. I mean, look at it. 200 00:06:52,347 --> 00:06:54,215 Sweetheart, why do you think I chose my side of the bed? 201 00:06:54,216 --> 00:06:55,486 Okay! Okay. Thank you. 202 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,890 Thank you, family. This has been super-duper helpful. 203 00:06:58,524 --> 00:07:00,649 Hands, lips, sarcasm, eye-rolling, 204 00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:01,664 wrong side of the face. 205 00:07:01,665 --> 00:07:03,364 - Mm. - Oh, yeah. Now I see it. 206 00:07:04,209 --> 00:07:05,041 Yep. 207 00:07:07,874 --> 00:07:09,055 She's ready. 208 00:07:10,008 --> 00:07:12,373 And it's this, 209 00:07:12,374 --> 00:07:14,070 and it's this. 210 00:07:14,347 --> 00:07:16,248 Not this, 211 00:07:16,282 --> 00:07:18,015 but this. 212 00:07:18,050 --> 00:07:19,417 - Okay. Okay, that's good, Cam. - And this. 213 00:07:19,452 --> 00:07:21,753 Save-- let's save some petals for Lily, all right? 214 00:07:21,787 --> 00:07:23,154 Okay. Let's do it over here, sweetheart. 215 00:07:23,188 --> 00:07:23,821 - Right over here. - Okay. 216 00:07:24,423 --> 00:07:25,791 - There you go. - Oh, like you're coming down the aisle! 217 00:07:25,992 --> 00:07:28,226 - Yeah. Yeah. - Okay. 218 00:07:28,260 --> 00:07:29,327 Not too many at once. That's good. 219 00:07:29,695 --> 00:07:30,628 - Okay. - You're doing great, Lil. 220 00:07:30,630 --> 00:07:31,997 Oh, she is, isn't she? 221 00:07:32,031 --> 00:07:33,631 Forget the bride. All the eyes are gonna be on her. 222 00:07:33,666 --> 00:07:35,867 Oh... 223 00:07:46,805 --> 00:07:48,544 I cannot believe you laughed! 224 00:07:48,545 --> 00:07:51,083 I am sorry. But you know I have two weaknesses-- 225 00:07:51,084 --> 00:07:53,319 children cursing and old people rapping. 226 00:07:53,321 --> 00:07:55,087 Cam, we have to tell her it's a bad word. 227 00:07:55,122 --> 00:07:57,089 No. That just gives it more power. 228 00:07:57,124 --> 00:07:59,092 The less we make of it, the better. 229 00:07:59,126 --> 00:08:00,693 Let's just pretend like it never happened. 230 00:08:00,727 --> 00:08:02,228 Okay. Yeah, maybe it-- maybe it didn't. 231 00:08:02,396 --> 00:08:04,163 Maybe we-- maybe we misheard. 232 00:08:04,198 --> 00:08:06,499 Yeah. Maybe she said "truck." 233 00:08:06,533 --> 00:08:07,867 Or-- or "duck." 234 00:08:07,901 --> 00:08:10,669 Or "luck." She could have said "yuck." 235 00:08:10,704 --> 00:08:12,438 Daddy, can I have some ice cream? 236 00:08:12,472 --> 00:08:14,941 No, honey, if you're hungry, you can have some fruit. 237 00:08:14,975 --> 00:08:17,476 Fruit?. 238 00:08:19,179 --> 00:08:20,845 I have two children. 239 00:08:28,561 --> 00:08:30,896 Phil? Phil, is this televised? 240 00:08:30,931 --> 00:08:33,099 I didn't tell you because I didn't want to make you nervous. 241 00:08:33,133 --> 00:08:34,834 Great plan. Really good plan. 242 00:08:34,868 --> 00:08:36,334 Throw me for a curveball at the last minute. 243 00:08:36,369 --> 00:08:38,070 Mom, chill. It's just public access. 244 00:08:38,104 --> 00:08:39,838 My debate team's on public access, 245 00:08:39,873 --> 00:08:42,007 and the only people who watch me are you guys. 246 00:08:42,042 --> 00:08:43,209 Yep. All the time. 247 00:08:43,279 --> 00:08:44,808 So maybe nobody will see this? 248 00:08:44,809 --> 00:08:46,603 No. We want people to see this. 249 00:08:46,604 --> 00:08:49,386 - That's how you win elections. That's the whole point. - Mm-hmm. 250 00:08:49,387 --> 00:08:51,996 Then mom should do something so crazy and stupid, 251 00:08:51,997 --> 00:08:54,108 - it goes viral. - Mom, please don't go viral. 252 00:08:54,332 --> 00:08:56,467 Okay. I'll add that to my list of things not to do-- 253 00:08:56,502 --> 00:08:59,003 don't touch my face, don't roll my eyes, 254 00:08:59,037 --> 00:09:00,370 don't point my fingers, 255 00:09:00,405 --> 00:09:01,972 and definitely don't go viral. 256 00:09:02,007 --> 00:09:03,754 Do any of you still believe in me? 257 00:09:03,755 --> 00:09:05,749 Of course we do. We're on your side. 258 00:09:05,750 --> 00:09:07,249 - The right side. - Mm. 259 00:09:07,251 --> 00:09:08,317 Not the left. 260 00:09:08,319 --> 00:09:09,518 Let's grab a seat. 261 00:09:11,922 --> 00:09:13,089 Right. Left. 262 00:09:13,123 --> 00:09:15,458 - Okay. Mom, just be confident. - Mm-hmm? 263 00:09:15,492 --> 00:09:17,693 Based on what? I just lost a debate in my living room, 264 00:09:17,727 --> 00:09:19,528 and people think I'm unlikable. 265 00:09:19,562 --> 00:09:20,963 That's just the word men use for powerful women 266 00:09:20,998 --> 00:09:22,331 because they feel threatened. 267 00:09:22,365 --> 00:09:26,235 So just forget everything else and be proud and powerful. 268 00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:28,035 How did you get so smart? 269 00:09:28,036 --> 00:09:30,033 I've always assumed adoption or baby switch. 270 00:09:30,034 --> 00:09:32,460 - Mm. - Hey. Hey. No kisses! 271 00:09:32,461 --> 00:09:33,319 Proud and powerful. 272 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,008 - Sorry. - And no apologizing. 273 00:09:35,209 --> 00:09:37,183 Yes! Shut up and get in there! 274 00:09:37,184 --> 00:09:38,785 - That's more like it! - Uh-huh! 275 00:09:38,819 --> 00:09:40,049 Yeah! 276 00:09:40,988 --> 00:09:41,781 Oh, God. 277 00:09:44,716 --> 00:09:45,424 There she is. 278 00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:47,293 - Go get 'em, Claire. - Thanks. 279 00:09:47,327 --> 00:09:48,427 Don't worry. We're going to cheer for you 280 00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:49,662 no matter what you say. 281 00:09:49,697 --> 00:09:52,231 Oh, good. More support from my loving family. 282 00:09:52,265 --> 00:09:54,033 Honk. Sarcasm. 283 00:09:54,671 --> 00:09:55,972 Why'd you bring Stella? 284 00:09:55,973 --> 00:09:58,091 She keeps getting out and jumping in the pool. 285 00:09:58,092 --> 00:10:00,607 We don't wanna take any chances because she can't swim. 286 00:10:00,608 --> 00:10:02,295 Then why does she keep jumping in the pool? 287 00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:03,729 I've been thinking about it. I got a theory. 288 00:10:03,764 --> 00:10:05,822 She might be suicidal. 289 00:10:05,823 --> 00:10:07,763 What? That's crazy. 290 00:10:07,990 --> 00:10:10,516 There's not such thing as doggy suicide. 291 00:10:11,263 --> 00:10:13,157 Hi. Duane Bailey. 292 00:10:13,511 --> 00:10:15,170 Sorry. I couldn't help but overhear. 293 00:10:15,171 --> 00:10:16,804 In addition to being a public servant, 294 00:10:16,838 --> 00:10:19,573 I'm also an award-winning breeder of puggles. 295 00:10:19,608 --> 00:10:21,743 I've won the puggly. Twice. 296 00:10:21,777 --> 00:10:23,311 And I'm afraid that doggy suicide 297 00:10:23,345 --> 00:10:25,158 is all too real. 298 00:10:25,159 --> 00:10:27,748 It's just the mainstream media doesn't report on it, 299 00:10:27,782 --> 00:10:30,302 'cause it's not as sexy as feline A.I.D.S. 300 00:10:30,303 --> 00:10:33,645 Stella is not suicidal. She's just... estupid. 301 00:10:33,646 --> 00:10:35,585 Well, that might be part of your problem. 302 00:10:35,586 --> 00:10:36,786 She senses you don't like her. 303 00:10:36,954 --> 00:10:38,053 You have no idea. 304 00:10:38,088 --> 00:10:39,721 This one's been against this little angel 305 00:10:39,756 --> 00:10:41,056 from the very beginning. 306 00:10:41,091 --> 00:10:42,191 Yeah, well, dogs pick up on that. 307 00:10:42,393 --> 00:10:43,625 You know, they're very sensitive. 308 00:10:43,660 --> 00:10:45,695 I like to call them, um... 309 00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,997 Bottomless pits of need. 310 00:10:48,031 --> 00:10:49,231 But not to their face, though. 311 00:10:49,266 --> 00:10:50,366 That would just destroy them. 312 00:10:50,368 --> 00:10:51,700 Not you. 313 00:10:52,038 --> 00:10:53,305 So now this is my fault? 314 00:10:53,307 --> 00:10:54,207 I think he knows what he's talking about. 315 00:10:54,241 --> 00:10:55,547 The man won a puggly. 316 00:10:55,548 --> 00:10:57,314 - Two. I won two pugglies. - We're done here. 317 00:10:57,315 --> 00:10:59,145 - In 2000-- - Yeah. 318 00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:03,078 Do you have any idea what station this is on? 319 00:11:03,112 --> 00:11:04,050 Here, I'll look online. 320 00:11:04,079 --> 00:11:05,979 It's a Webcast? That would have been helpful to know 321 00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:06,990 900 channels ago. 322 00:11:06,991 --> 00:11:09,076 No, it's on public access or something. 323 00:11:09,077 --> 00:11:10,679 I wanna watch aunt Claire! 324 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:13,082 Okay. Well, first, honey, we need to talk about something. 325 00:11:13,083 --> 00:11:15,174 It's about that word you said this morning. 326 00:11:15,519 --> 00:11:16,385 What word? 327 00:11:16,386 --> 00:11:18,409 You know, the one that starts with "f"? 328 00:11:18,410 --> 00:11:20,430 - "Flower"? - No. 329 00:11:21,217 --> 00:11:22,602 - "Fruit"? - No. 330 00:11:22,603 --> 00:11:24,787 If she doesn't remember it, we shouldn't remind her. 331 00:11:24,788 --> 00:11:26,376 Oh, well, she said it three times. 332 00:11:26,377 --> 00:11:28,565 Oh, you mean. 333 00:11:29,347 --> 00:11:30,754 Cam, leave the room! 334 00:11:32,204 --> 00:11:34,730 No. I can do this. 335 00:11:35,006 --> 00:11:37,500 Lily, that is a bad word, 336 00:11:37,501 --> 00:11:39,863 and you are not allowed to say it ever. 337 00:11:39,864 --> 00:11:41,311 But it makes you laugh. 338 00:11:41,345 --> 00:11:42,712 Okay, well, daddy shouldn't be laughing, 339 00:11:42,714 --> 00:11:45,358 and you should never say that word. 340 00:11:45,359 --> 00:11:46,501 Do you understand? 341 00:11:46,502 --> 00:11:47,882 Maybe. 342 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,958 Okay. This is not a game, all right? 343 00:11:51,196 --> 00:11:52,229 If you say that word one more time, 344 00:11:52,264 --> 00:11:53,530 I'm gonna take away all your toys! 345 00:11:53,565 --> 00:11:55,599 I'm serious! She knows I'm not serious. 346 00:11:55,633 --> 00:11:57,435 What about the wedding? 347 00:11:57,469 --> 00:12:00,137 What if she says it there? She's like a ticking time bomb! 348 00:12:00,171 --> 00:12:02,006 - Well, what are we gonna do, cancel? - Yes. 349 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,074 Maybe we just call and say, 350 00:12:03,108 --> 00:12:04,708 "we're not going to any more weddings 351 00:12:04,742 --> 00:12:06,710 - until the gays can get married." - Oh, so now we're political? 352 00:12:06,744 --> 00:12:08,245 We leave town on gay pride weekend 353 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,081 because we don't like the traffic. 354 00:12:12,296 --> 00:12:16,525 But there's no substitute for experience. 355 00:12:17,281 --> 00:12:19,636 For example, I doubt my opponent is familiar 356 00:12:19,637 --> 00:12:22,380 with town ordinance 26-12B... 357 00:12:22,381 --> 00:12:25,025 26-12B has to do with noise pollution-- 358 00:12:25,026 --> 00:12:27,454 something, sir, that you are guilty of right now. 359 00:12:28,625 --> 00:12:30,643 Oh, no she di'int! 360 00:12:30,644 --> 00:12:31,468 Go, mom! 361 00:12:31,469 --> 00:12:32,401 Ladies and gentlemen... 362 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:33,225 Look at her eyes. 363 00:12:33,226 --> 00:12:35,199 I know. They're a little too close together. 364 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:36,801 It's been bugging me for years. 365 00:12:36,802 --> 00:12:39,505 No, she's in the zone. She's ready for anything. 366 00:12:39,539 --> 00:12:42,338 I do like to talk... about the issues. 367 00:12:42,339 --> 00:12:43,648 Speaking of issues, 368 00:12:43,649 --> 00:12:46,684 your husband seems to have some. 369 00:12:47,013 --> 00:12:48,013 I'm sorry? 370 00:12:48,047 --> 00:12:50,549 I'm not sorry. What? 371 00:12:50,583 --> 00:12:52,618 Oh, well, I wouldn't want to bring it up, 372 00:12:52,652 --> 00:12:54,334 but since you asked, um... 373 00:12:54,335 --> 00:12:56,490 In February of last year, your husband, 374 00:12:56,491 --> 00:13:01,018 one, uh, Phillip Dunphy, was questioned at a local hotel 375 00:13:01,019 --> 00:13:04,199 for lewd and lascivious conduct. 376 00:13:04,243 --> 00:13:05,121 Oh, jeez. 377 00:13:06,005 --> 00:13:07,008 That's not true. 378 00:13:07,009 --> 00:13:08,754 Ma'am, according to this police report, 379 00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:11,350 he, uh, broke into a stranger's room, 380 00:13:11,351 --> 00:13:12,772 stripped naked... 381 00:13:13,192 --> 00:13:15,793 and then posed provocatively on the bed. 382 00:13:18,706 --> 00:13:20,565 That is technically true, 383 00:13:21,153 --> 00:13:23,954 but in all fairness, it was Valentine's day. 384 00:13:23,955 --> 00:13:26,923 Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry. It was Valentine's day. 385 00:13:26,925 --> 00:13:27,958 I'm not sure, uh, 386 00:13:27,992 --> 00:13:29,592 if your husband was born in this country. 387 00:13:29,626 --> 00:13:31,294 Ah. Perhaps he snuck in illegally, 388 00:13:31,329 --> 00:13:33,797 but here in America, we celebrate Valentine's day 389 00:13:33,831 --> 00:13:35,365 with chocolates, 390 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,666 not our private parts. 391 00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:37,501 Mm. 392 00:13:39,771 --> 00:13:41,637 - This is my new favorite show. - Shh! 393 00:13:41,639 --> 00:13:42,806 No, sir, 394 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,184 he was looking for me, his wife, 395 00:13:45,185 --> 00:13:47,287 and he walked into the wrong room. 396 00:13:47,288 --> 00:13:49,055 If you believe that, I have some talking puggles 397 00:13:49,056 --> 00:13:50,480 I'd like to sell you. 398 00:13:51,419 --> 00:13:52,919 Do you believe this? 399 00:13:52,954 --> 00:13:55,289 Talking dogs? I'm skeptical. 400 00:13:55,323 --> 00:13:57,106 - I won the puggly. Twice. - Be strong. 401 00:13:58,414 --> 00:14:00,275 I am glad that my opponent brought this up, 402 00:14:00,276 --> 00:14:04,974 as I feel that it speaks to his character more than mine. 403 00:14:05,515 --> 00:14:08,310 I think that we should raise the level of discourse 404 00:14:08,311 --> 00:14:09,737 and get back to the issues 405 00:14:09,738 --> 00:14:11,260 that the voters really care about. 406 00:14:11,261 --> 00:14:13,354 When he was naked, what were you wearing? 407 00:14:13,355 --> 00:14:15,683 I... don't think that's relevant. 408 00:14:15,684 --> 00:14:17,179 Are you sex freaks? 409 00:14:17,180 --> 00:14:20,923 My personal life has nothing to do with this. 410 00:14:20,924 --> 00:14:24,793 Uh--the--my opponent has brought this up 411 00:14:24,828 --> 00:14:27,030 to distract from his own record, 412 00:14:27,231 --> 00:14:29,632 which shows that in-- in six years, 413 00:14:29,667 --> 00:14:32,568 he has achieved nothing more than writing one ordinance 414 00:14:32,603 --> 00:14:35,738 that allows private parties to have more than eight dogs. 415 00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:36,940 Hmm. Hmm. 416 00:14:37,141 --> 00:14:38,974 It's like watching the "hindenburg." 417 00:14:39,009 --> 00:14:41,143 This is the most horrible thing I've ever seen in my life. 418 00:14:41,177 --> 00:14:43,279 - Excuse me! - Stand by. 419 00:14:43,313 --> 00:14:46,115 I am Phil Dunphy, and I am not a pervert. 420 00:14:46,150 --> 00:14:49,852 I, like a lot of men in this town, 421 00:14:49,886 --> 00:14:52,888 enjoy making love to my wife. 422 00:14:54,347 --> 00:14:56,948 I mean, um... I mean with their wives. 423 00:14:56,982 --> 00:14:58,242 Not me, them. 424 00:14:59,182 --> 00:15:02,609 Look, I should probably just sit down and say nothing. 425 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:03,448 But it's too late. 426 00:15:03,449 --> 00:15:05,782 I am standing, and I'm obviously talking, 427 00:15:05,783 --> 00:15:07,551 and now you're looking at me, 428 00:15:07,586 --> 00:15:09,224 and I feel the need to keep going. 429 00:15:10,155 --> 00:15:12,489 First of all... 430 00:15:12,823 --> 00:15:14,334 No charges were filed. 431 00:15:14,335 --> 00:15:16,665 Everyone had a good laugh-- 432 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:19,003 about the situation, not-- not about me. 433 00:15:19,004 --> 00:15:20,670 Everything's fine down there. 434 00:15:21,430 --> 00:15:22,550 Anywho... 435 00:15:24,015 --> 00:15:25,185 Where were we? 436 00:15:25,186 --> 00:15:27,010 All over YouTube. 437 00:15:27,011 --> 00:15:28,347 We went viral. 438 00:15:28,377 --> 00:15:30,589 Some sick bastard auto-tuned me. 439 00:15:31,249 --> 00:15:32,218 ♪ I... ♪ 440 00:15:32,219 --> 00:15:33,280 ♪ Like a lot of men ♪ 441 00:15:33,281 --> 00:15:34,347 ♪ in this town ♪ 442 00:15:34,348 --> 00:15:37,509 ♪ I enjoy making love to my wife-- wife ♪ 443 00:15:39,112 --> 00:15:40,866 ♪ and I don't know how to stop. ♪ 444 00:15:42,607 --> 00:15:43,607 ♪ I am a pervert. ♪ 445 00:15:43,608 --> 00:15:45,092 ♪ Pervert-- per-- ♪ 446 00:15:45,771 --> 00:15:47,703 Jay! Manny! 447 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,928 We should have been there already! 448 00:15:49,988 --> 00:15:52,622 Gloria, I'm tying my tie! 449 00:15:52,657 --> 00:15:54,061 I'm accessorizing! 450 00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,471 And I thought I was the woman. 451 00:16:02,144 --> 00:16:03,098 The door. 452 00:16:03,401 --> 00:16:05,502 Ay! Estella, no! No! 453 00:16:05,907 --> 00:16:07,312 Ay! No! No! 454 00:16:07,313 --> 00:16:09,558 Estella, don't do it! Don't kill yourself! 455 00:16:09,746 --> 00:16:11,179 You are a perfectly fine dog! 456 00:16:11,214 --> 00:16:12,915 I don't hate you! 457 00:16:12,949 --> 00:16:15,183 Estella, okay, I was a little mean to you, 458 00:16:15,218 --> 00:16:16,886 but that's no reason to kill yourself! 459 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:17,987 You are young! 460 00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:21,187 You still have so much left to smell! 461 00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,029 Ay! 462 00:16:22,030 --> 00:16:23,764 I am-- I go! 463 00:16:23,766 --> 00:16:25,566 I'm coming! 464 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:26,934 I'm--Manny! 465 00:16:26,968 --> 00:16:29,437 Ay! Come on, estella! 466 00:16:30,977 --> 00:16:32,608 - What happened? - Are you okay? 467 00:16:32,898 --> 00:16:34,400 She did it again. 468 00:16:34,401 --> 00:16:36,448 - And you jumped in to save her? - No, Jay! 469 00:16:36,449 --> 00:16:39,331 I wanted to take a little swim before going to the wedding! 470 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,039 Get her a towel she's shaking like a leaf. 471 00:16:47,893 --> 00:16:49,060 Oh, no, no, I meant-- 472 00:16:49,094 --> 00:16:50,695 - I meant-- - Thank you, Jay. 473 00:16:50,796 --> 00:16:53,264 The dog towel for me. 474 00:16:53,944 --> 00:16:55,144 For the wife. 475 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:00,183 Hi! 476 00:17:00,184 --> 00:17:01,988 Hey, guys, hi. 477 00:17:01,989 --> 00:17:03,984 - Hi. - Hey, what's shakin'? What's cooking? 478 00:17:04,313 --> 00:17:05,530 You saw the debate, didn't you? 479 00:17:05,531 --> 00:17:07,030 - The de-what? - No, that wasn't-- 480 00:17:07,064 --> 00:17:08,365 - that was today? - No, no. Was that on today? 481 00:17:08,399 --> 00:17:09,399 Oh, I didn't remember. 482 00:17:09,433 --> 00:17:11,267 You are the worst liars. 483 00:17:11,571 --> 00:17:13,234 It was phenomenal television. 484 00:17:13,235 --> 00:17:14,713 Oh, Lily. 485 00:17:15,123 --> 00:17:16,490 What a... 486 00:17:16,524 --> 00:17:17,315 dress. 487 00:17:17,316 --> 00:17:19,980 Oh, well, you ain't seen nothing yet. 488 00:17:21,228 --> 00:17:23,249 How about there... we go. 489 00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:24,363 Wow. Ohh. 490 00:17:24,397 --> 00:17:26,516 - Yikes. - She looks like a lite brite. 491 00:17:26,517 --> 00:17:27,550 Luke, honey. 492 00:17:27,934 --> 00:17:30,002 Lily, sweetie, are you excited to be a flower girl? 493 00:17:30,036 --> 00:17:31,737 Yeah? 494 00:17:31,771 --> 00:17:32,939 Little bit nervous? 495 00:17:32,973 --> 00:17:34,573 Yeah? 496 00:17:34,608 --> 00:17:37,334 Why isn't she talking to me? Did she see the debate, too? 497 00:17:37,335 --> 00:17:38,969 Nope, she's on verbal lockdown. 498 00:17:39,003 --> 00:17:41,949 - Oh? - She's been dropping a certain curse word all day. 499 00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:43,306 - Mm. - Yeah. Yeah, so we're just hoping 500 00:17:43,307 --> 00:17:44,810 the next one doesn't happen during the wedding. 501 00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,214 If it does, it'll be the second most embarrassing thing 502 00:17:47,215 --> 00:17:48,697 to happen to our family today. 503 00:17:48,698 --> 00:17:50,525 Phil, you said it wasn't that bad. 504 00:17:50,526 --> 00:17:52,326 That was in the car. We're in a church now. 505 00:17:52,327 --> 00:17:53,121 Honey... 506 00:17:54,155 --> 00:17:56,322 Somebody turn her off. I think I'm having a seizure. 507 00:17:56,323 --> 00:17:58,883 - Oh, buddy. - Oh. Yeah. 508 00:18:00,559 --> 00:18:02,960 Oh, good. I thought that we were going to miss Lily. 509 00:18:02,961 --> 00:18:04,296 Ships at sea wouldn't miss Lily. 510 00:18:04,664 --> 00:18:06,464 Where have you guys been? 511 00:18:06,498 --> 00:18:08,933 I had to jump in the pool to save the stupid dog... 512 00:18:08,968 --> 00:18:10,401 Who she loves. 513 00:18:10,435 --> 00:18:13,170 That I didn't let her down doesn't mean that I love her. 514 00:18:13,238 --> 00:18:15,206 I barely got Manny back in the pool 515 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,108 after that possum incident. 516 00:18:17,210 --> 00:18:18,442 I thought it drowned, 517 00:18:18,477 --> 00:18:20,845 but turns out it was just playing possum. 518 00:18:20,879 --> 00:18:22,847 Yes, papi. 519 00:18:33,726 --> 00:18:34,859 Good job! 520 00:18:37,362 --> 00:18:38,462 Oh! 521 00:18:44,188 --> 00:18:46,657 You know what the worst part of today was? 522 00:18:46,691 --> 00:18:48,112 I imagine it's hard to choose. 523 00:18:48,113 --> 00:18:49,597 When everything was melting down, 524 00:18:49,598 --> 00:18:51,884 I realized I had an answer to your question, 525 00:18:51,885 --> 00:18:53,086 why I was running. 526 00:18:53,421 --> 00:18:55,300 I wanted to make my family proud, 527 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,369 and I did the exact opposite. 528 00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,481 No. 529 00:18:58,482 --> 00:19:00,638 No, I did. I totally embarrassed you. 530 00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,540 No. No, dad embarrassed me. 531 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,718 I was proud of you. 532 00:19:05,133 --> 00:19:07,271 I think it's cool you're running for local office. 533 00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:10,300 I mean, it's totally nerdy, and that's kind of my thing. 534 00:19:10,653 --> 00:19:13,643 Hmm. Maybe it's kind of our thing. 535 00:19:22,353 --> 00:19:25,113 Ah. Some day, I'll walk you down the aisle. 536 00:19:25,417 --> 00:19:27,463 If you're not in perv jail. 537 00:19:29,575 --> 00:19:30,752 Please be seated. 538 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:37,983 Friends, family, thank you for making... 539 00:19:38,017 --> 00:19:38,594 Really? 540 00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,487 Well, you know I cry at weddings. 541 00:19:40,783 --> 00:19:42,053 Oh, no. 542 00:19:42,295 --> 00:19:44,143 - What? - Stop-- stop crying. 543 00:19:44,557 --> 00:19:45,982 Well, just because you have ice water in your veins, 544 00:19:45,983 --> 00:19:47,680 - doesn't mean that-- - No. No, Lily... 545 00:19:47,835 --> 00:19:49,315 No. Lily... 546 00:19:49,316 --> 00:19:50,649 He's fine. Daddy's fine. 547 00:19:50,684 --> 00:19:52,471 - Daddy's not sad. - Daddy, daddy! 548 00:20:05,332 --> 00:20:08,281 You see? I told you it was funny. 549 00:20:13,774 --> 00:20:15,542 Excuse us. 550 00:20:15,576 --> 00:20:17,243 Congratulations. 551 00:20:18,779 --> 00:20:20,246 Bye, Lily. 552 00:20:21,671 --> 00:20:26,140 *** Go on, you little motorboat! 553 00:20:27,344 --> 00:20:28,758 Look at her go! 554 00:20:30,333 --> 00:20:31,527 Where's she going? 555 00:20:31,604 --> 00:20:33,084 Oh, jeez, I think she's trying to get herself 556 00:20:33,085 --> 00:20:34,190 sucked into the filter. 557 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:35,516 What'd you say to her? 558 00:20:35,787 --> 00:20:37,317 I didn't say anything! 559 00:20:37,318 --> 00:20:38,498 Wait a second. 560 00:20:39,327 --> 00:20:40,651 Jay, look. 561 00:20:41,827 --> 00:20:44,672 See? She was not trying to kill herself. 562 00:20:44,673 --> 00:20:47,709 She was just trying to get to the squeaky wiener! 563 00:20:47,710 --> 00:20:48,957 That must be why she's been jumping in. 564 00:20:48,958 --> 00:20:51,358 It must have been there all the time. That's hilarious! 565 00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:52,477 Ay, si! 566 00:20:52,716 --> 00:20:54,082 No, it's not! 567 00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:55,192 Not now. 568 00:20:55,773 --> 00:20:57,795 I'm saying it will be. 569 00:20:58,184 --> 00:20:59,257 Later. 570 00:21:01,938 --> 00:21:08,358 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg visit tvshowslatest.blogspot.com to download all episodes of Modern Family 9999 00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:03,300 www.tvsubtitles.net